The Monkey's Paw
by Wandering Namekian
Summary: Monkey Fist gets a magical monkey's paw that grants wishes, but in typical Monkey Magic form, there are horrible, life-ruining consequences. Based off the 1902 short story of the same name. Slight Monkey Fist/DNAmy.


**Disclaimer: **I don't own Kim Possible, if anything, it owns me (but not as much as Invader Zim does).

**A/N: **Written for a friend of mine for Christmas 2010. Monkey Fist is like his favorite character ever, and I was like "well, okay, I just reread 'The Monkey's Paw' for a class and that _is_ something that would happen to him, I'll write about that." And I actually really liked it. I kind of thought writing about monkey magic destroying Monkey Fist's life would be boring as that is literally every single one of his episodes, but it was much more enjoyable than I thought it would be. Probably because I put DNAmy in it. I love her.

On that note, this is set in Season 2. I'm of the firm opinion that at this point he and Amy _were_ in a relationship, and things he said in Season 3 are probably due to the fact that, from Season 3 on, Monkey Fist is _completely_ out of his bloody mind (you know, even more so than he was before). He had a _shrine_ to her in _Partners_, that's not a "professional relationship" thing to do. At the very least, it's vague, and I'm going to read it the way I want to, which is this way because it's more entertaining.

**Edit: **Just realized that there was a website name in this story that the fanfic(dot)net editing took out, so I had to fix that. Also I had to add a page break. Sorry about that, everyone. **  
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**Summary**: Monkey Fist gets a magical monkey's paw that grants wishes, but in typical Monkey Magic form, there are horrible, life-ruining consequences. Based off the 1902 short story of the same name. Slight Monkey Fist/DNAmy.

**The Monkey's Paw**

"This box contains one of the most powerful monkey artifacts in the entire world!" Monkey Fist's eyes glowed with a frightening sort of fanaticism as he looked at the box in his hands. "Finally, the—"

"Umm... sir, y-you have to sign for that..." the delivery man said nervously. He looked around quickly, taking in the ominous sight of Monkey Fist's castle. It was clear he wanted to leave as soon as possible.

Monkey Fist gave an irritated sigh. "Of course." He quickly signed the clipboard the man was holding, then slammed the door in his face, muttering something about unthinking, postal bureaucrats impeding world-changing research. He smiled again, however, when he remembered what he was holding. "At long last, I have it! Now that this is in my possession, nothing will be able to stop me from acquiring mystical monkey power!" He began to laugh, loudly and maniacally.

"Well, you certainly seem to be enjoying yourself in here," DNAmy said with a small laugh, as she walked into the room, carrying a tray of cookies.

"In fact, I am," he answered. He looked at the cookies for a moment. "Are those, what? Macadamia?"

Amy smiled and nodded. "Yes. Do you want one, sweetie?"

"Actually, I—" As he started to reach for one however, all of the monkey ninjas rushed by in a horde. They jumped up and grabbed cookies off the tray, and by the time they had all passed, the tray was empty. He sighed. "Or not..."

She gave him a sympathetic look. "Aww, I'm sorry, honey. Should I make some more?"

"Don't bother. We've more important things to do." Monkey Fist held the box up to her. "It's finally here."

Amy put the tray down and walked over to him. She grabbed his arm and leaned up against him."Is that the package you've been waiting for?"

He glanced at her briefly, then seemed to decide against reacting to her in any measurable way for the time being. "Indeed, and now that I have it, I'll be unstoppable."

"What is it?"

He opened the box, and quickly pulled out its only contents, which seemed to be much smaller than the box had implied. He then threw the box behind him, causing Amy's eyes to follow the box as he did so before her attention returned to what he was holding. He held it up, revealing that it seemed to be a mummified monkey's paw. "The Monkey's Paw." His face showed a sense of wonder that was child-like, yet intensely sinister. "Legend has it, that this will grant three wishes each to three different people."

"Wishes? You mean, you can ask for whatever you want and it will just happen?"

"Precisely. The options are limitless! Now, no one will be able to get in my way!" He was clearly too excited to stand still, and pulled away from her as he began to pace, still staring intensely at the paw. "Now, what to ask for first? Perhaps to be given the Mystical Monkey Powers of legend, the ones so unrightfully taken from me. Although I don't know if it's powerful enough to do something like that on its own. But I was destined for them. I'm simply fixing the natural order of the universe. Surely—"

"Umm... sweetie?" Amy said, as she picked up the box and put it on the table.

He turned to her, perturbed at the interruption. "Yes, Amy?"

"Well, are you sure that there won't be consequences? It seems that changing the past could have some nasty effects, that's all, honey."

"There shouldn't be any undesired effects from righting the universe." After a moment's pause, though, he seemed to reconsider. "However, you might have a point. I should change something minor, that still somehow directly influenced my not acquiring the powers. But what?" He thought for a few more moments, then smirked. "Of course. It's so simple! And it solves everything! It's brilliant!"

"Wait, what are you—?"

He held up the Monkey's Paw. "I wish that I had never hired Kim Possible to help me retrieve the Jade Monkey." The one of the fingers of the paw curled down, to indicate that it had been used, and at the same time there was a flash of light. Monkey Fist was still smiling as it receded. "Now, all I have to do is go get the Jade Monkey myself, and the monkey powers will be mine and mine alone!" He began to laugh again. "And it's all thanks to the Mo—" He looked at the Monkey's Paw again, but immediately realized that something wasn't right.

It wasn't the paw itself, it seemed fine. However, once he truly realized what had happened, he screamed. "My hands!" They were perfectly normal, which was, of course, why he was so horrified. Perfectly normal, _human_ hands. He immediately dropped the Monkey's Paw as he stared at his hands, morbidly transfixed for a moment, then looked to his feet, wincing. He closed his eyes and quickly removed his shoe. Then hesitantly opened one eye, and shrank back a bit, as he saw that, it too, was completely human.

"How on earth did this happen?" he asked, but soon realized that was alone in the room. Had Amy really wandered off at a time like this? "Amy!"

So, she had been right about the consequences, or maybe the Monkey's Paw took something from whoever used it as some sort of payment, the texts had been a bit fuzzy on the details. Although, he had remembered them saying something about a "price." No matter, it wasn't as if it would be difficult to have her do the surgery again. After that, he could go get the Jade Monkey and everything would be perfect. Minor setback, really, nothing to worry about.

Upon not receiving some sort of response, he realized that it was possible that Amy simply wasn't visiting him, especially if they were living in some sort of alternate universe created when he'd made the wish. Calling her was probably the best way to get in contact with her. He sat down on the couch, having to stop himself from trying to grab the phone with his foot, as he remembered that he now had clumsy, disgusting human feet. He picked up the phone and dialed her number.

"Hello?" The voice on the other side was perky, almost painfully cheerful, and (thankfully) familiar. It was good to know that in this alternate universe, people still seemed to have the same mobile numbers.

"Hello, Amy, look we need to ta—"

"Why, hello there. Aren't we forward today?"

"Amy, I really don't have time for this. This is serious."

"Well, if you're so serious, you could at least give me your name."

"You've got to be—" Suddenly, it was all obvious. "Excuse me for one moment, please." He quickly put his hand over the receiver so she couldn't hear him. "When I wished I'd never asked Kim Possible for help, the Monkey's Paw changed reality so that I never heard of her. And since I only heard of her when I broke Amy out of prison after she'd been arrested, to get the surgery, it stopped her from being arrested in the first place. I never met her at all in this world. Oh, this is just lovely!" He looked back at the phone, wincing a bit at how uncomfortable this phone call was going to inevitably become. "How am I supposed to sort this mess out?"

He took a moment to collect his thoughts. "Think, Monty, this isn't that difficult. You never heard of Amy before she was arrested, but she would have been more than willing to help you then. Just ask her now. There, problem solved."

He uncovered the receiver. "Hello, I'm sorry about all that, you're Dr. Amy Hall, correct? You've done ground breaking research in the field of genetics, have you not?"

Amy laughed a bit. "Well, I wouldn't say 'ground-breaking'... well, okay, maybe I would. But let's not talk about me. I'd rather listen to you tell me about yourself, with that yummy accent of yours."

One would have thought that the last year of their relationship would have acclimated him much better to hearing her say those sorts of things, unfortunately for him, that wasn't the case. In fact, he was sure that he felt just as uncomfortable with it now as when they'd first met. "Well, I—look, I was simply calling to ask if your research could help me. So, I just have a few questions."

"Go ahead. Ask me anything."

"Would you be capable of performing a surgery to change part of one animal into the corresponding part of a different species? Say, giving a human being simian hands and feet?"

"What?" Her tone had changed completely, from playful to offended. "Even if something like that _was_ possible, I would lose my job for even trying it. Besides, that would be ferociously unethical, not to mention completely insane. I'd never do something like that. Goodbye." She hung up the phone and put it back in the pocket of her lab coat.

"Who was that?" A red-headed women in an identical lab coat asked her.

"I don't know," Amy answered, sounding a bit distracted. "He was asking if I could give a person the hands and feet of a monkey."

The other woman rolled her eyes. "Really, what sort of things do people think we do? Monkey hands and feet, can you even imagine?"

"Actually, I can," Amy said, a small smile on her lips. "I-I mean, no... of course not. That would be unethical. Terribly so. Yes."

* * *

Monkey Fist hung up the phone, completely bewildered as to what had just happened. He looked over at where the Monkey Paw still lay on the floor with a glare. He walked over and picked it up, narrowing his eyes. "I suppose you think that was quite clever, don't you?"

"Ah, there you are, Mi'lord."

Monkey Fist nearly jumped as he was completely shocked to hear the voice of his former valet. "Bates, what are you doing here?"

"It's four o'clock, I've brought your afternoon tea."

"Oh, yes, of course," Monkey Fist said. He'd never had the surgery, never gotten the statues, therefore had never destroyed his reputation, meaning that Bates still worked for him. He again had great difficultly in not attempting to take the tea tray with his feet. However, he eventually took the tray, poured a cup of tea, then turned his attention back to the Monkey's Paw. "I'm going to find out exactly what you changed and undo it. And this time, even you won't be able to twist my words."

Bates, who he had all but forgotten about, was now looking at him, quite concerned. "Mi'lord, are—?"

Monkey Fist sighed. This was the reason he'd gotten rid of Bates in the first place: for always making obnoxious implications about his mental stability (or rather, his lack thereof). It was simply impossible to live with. "I am perfectly alright, Bates. I've work to do. You're dismissed." He waved him away.

"Y-Yes, mi'lord." Bates still seemed concerned, but did as he was told, quickly leaving the room.

"But first," Monkey Fist continued. "I'll have to find out what it was you did to make Amy sane. It can't be hard to figure out, anything that drastic must be traceable."

As he put the now empty cup of tea back down on the tray, he noticed a newspaper that was sitting on the tray as well. The headline caught his eye: "Professor Dementor Thwarted Again." Monkey Fist picked up the newspaper.

"Clearly the cheerleader is still keeping busy. That much hasn't changed," he commented with disdain. For lack of anything better to do, he began to read the article. "The citizens of Austria can sleep soundly, once again, knowing that the evil Professor Dementor is behind bars, thanks to the hard work of... Team Impossible? No, it can't be..."

He pulled the chandelier, opening the secret passage to the basement dojo and went straight to his computer. He typed in the address to Kim Possible's website.

"Kim Possible... 'she can do anything.' Yes, we're all quite painfully aware." Yet, as he began to browse the website, it seemed that "anything" was a much narrower term than he had previously believed. "Babysitting, pet-sitting, tutoring... no world-saving? No irritating self-righteousness? Kim Possible is a normal teenager?"

He began to laugh, completely forgetting all of the other problems he was still facing. "This is great! Even better than never contacting her! She basically doesn't exist! This must have been what the Monkey's Paw was changing." Suddenly, though, he realized that a lack of Kim Possible was more of a clue to what had happened than a solution to his problems. "But how could a single factor make Amy a completely ethical geneticist and Kim Possible a normal teenager? Those two have nothing in common." He thought for a moment.

"They both live in the same city." He let out a frustrated sigh. "I know nothing about Middleton, I'd have no way of knowing if some event in the last fifteen years had changed. There's got to be something else."

There was no point in trying to discern any differences in Kim Possible's life, he knew very little about her outside of the fact that she and her annoying best friend frequently felt the need to ruin his plans. He'd be better off trying to figure out what could have changed in Amy's life. What had been her reasons for straying from the basic codes of morality laid out by modern science? He was sure she'd mentioned it at some point.

"No. I refuse to believe it." He said it aloud in order to reassure himself. "I refuse to believe that tacky, over-marketed plush toys aimed at immature children could possibly alter the world so very drastically." He was silent for a moment. "Although... I suppose it wouldn't kill me to check."

He turned back to his computer, typing in the words "Cuddle Buddies" with a small shudder of contempt. He let out a disgusted sigh. "I cannot believe I actually know these things exist... or existed, as the case may be." No search results. He ran his (completely human) fingers through his hair, resisting the urge to rip it from his skull in frustration. "How? This is ridiculous! Is there even a way that this connects to Kim Possible?"

Monkey Fist tried to remember any connection between the two, suddenly his eyes widened in realization. "Of course! Kim Possible's first mission! She saved a man trapped in his own security system, a system he had installed to protected his 'precious' collection of ridiculous stuffed animals. The same ridiculous stuffed animals that drove Amy down the path of madness and unethical genetic mutation!"

He looked down at the Monkey's Paw again. "You don't seriously expect me to wish those _things_ back into existence, do you? All of the power of the universe at my command, and I really have to...? No, I refuse. I'll find another way." His focused shifted from the Monkey's Paw to the hand he was holding it in. He stared at it, turning it over. He glared at it for a few moments, but his gaze soon faltered and he shuddered a bit. He sighed. "Fine, as it's the only way I'm sure I can put things right. But I'm onto you. You won't get away with something like this again. I just have to make my wishes unexploitable, a small price to pay for getting anything I want."

Monkey Fist held up the paw. "I cannot believe I'm saying this, but I wish that 'Cuddle Buddies,'" he said the name with contempt, "existed in the same capacity as they did before I made the first wish, meaning with their same influence on the world, with the exception of my hiring Kim Possible, which will be the only difference between the world now and after this wish has been granted."

The second finger of the Monkey's Paw curled closed and there was another flash of light. As soon as it subsided, Monkey Fist looked at his hand. The skin of his palm was darker than the rest of his body. Good sign. He turned it over. Fur. Better sign. He looked at his feet. Opposable toes (thank the monkey gods). "And I still have one wish left. Although if everything has worked out properly, I won't be needing it. All I have to do is retrieve the final Jade Monkey statue, nothing can stand in my way! Not teen heroes! Not annoying sidekicks! The Mystical Monkey Powers will finally be mine!" He began to laugh, quickly escalating in volume as he did so.

As he looked around however, he noticed something wasn't quite right. He sighed and began to walk up the stairs back to the first floor of the castle. "Bates!" He assumed that as he had never hired Kim Possible, therefore never retrieved the final statue, Bates was still in his employ, at least for the moment.

"Coming, Mi'lord!" Came the reply a few moments later. Bates soon came rushing into the room.

"Bates, what have you done with my Jade Monkeys?" Monkey Fist asked him. "I've told you a hundred times not to touch any of my artifacts without telling me."

Bates seemed confused. "Jade Monkeys, sir?"

Monkey Fist sighed. Bates had always been a bit hopeless. It was good to see that he hadn't simply grown bitter at his former valet due to the fact the man thought him mad: he truly was incompetent. "Forget it. I'll find them myself. Just go make me some tea." He waved him off.

"Yes, Mi'lord."

"One more thing. Is Amy here?"

Bates stopped walking and turned back to look at him, clearly nervous. His eyes darted around the room briefly. "N-Not to my knowledge, sir. W-We're not expecting Dr. Hall again, are we? She was here only a week ago. Surely the package you received was not so important that you called her over from the United States simply to see it." It was clear that Bates was more concerned over the idea of having to see Amy than of her having been inconvenienced in any way.

"I was sure I had mentioned it to you. That package contained mummified remains of a now extinct species, and I need her to extract and analyze genetic material from it." He would have to call Amy to ask her to visit now, and he wasn't even quite sure why he was doing it, aside from the fact it made his question appear normal and that the idea clearly made Bates uncomfortable. "Although, now that I think about it, I believe I received a message saying that she would be getting in tomorrow."

"Oh, h-how lovely," Bates managed to say (albeit insincerely) as he left to go prepare the tea.

"Now, all I have to do is find those Jade Monkeys, it couldn't be that difficult. They have to be somewhere in this house."

* * *

"They're not here. The Jade Monkeys are nowhere in this house!" Monkey Fist said. His hair was now disheveled, and he seemed completely exasperated. The room he was standing in looked as if it had been completely torn apart in his search. "Where could they be? Even if I hadn't hired Kim Possible, I should have gotten the other statues, which means they should be here!"

Yet, the hour of fruitless searching clearly indicated otherwise. Perhaps he had put them somewhere for safe keeping. If it had been years between when he'd found the others and his opportunity to retrieve the final statue, that would make sense. Bates seemed to know nothing about them, though, which probably meant he didn't know where they were. If he hadn't told Bates, who would he have told? Amy, perhaps? He had to call her anyway, and at least this time she would know who he was.

"Huh?" Amy rubbed her eyes, trying to figure out what had woken her up. It soon became obvious that it was her cell phone, ringing on her bedside table. "Who would be calling me at this hour?" She reached over to pick up the pink phone, knocking some of the seemingly infinite plush toys off of her bed. "Monty?" She answered the phone. "Hi, sweetie."

"Hello, I just wanted to ask— wait were you asleep?" He sounded as if that was the most unreasonable thing he could think of.

"Sugar, I know that _you_ wake up at five o'clock in the morning, but I typically don't." She sighed. "You forgot about the time difference again, didn't you? Just because it's ten in England doesn't mean its ten in America. Is this important?"

"Yes, it is. Do you know where my Jade Monkey statues are? Also, could you come over tomorrow?"

Amy knew that she and Monty had moderately different meanings for the word "important" but she was sure that this shouldn't really fit under either of them. She couldn't fathom why waiting three or four hours until she was awake would have killed him. Still, she supposed it wasn't worth getting mad at him (not that she was very good at doing that anyway). Also, she didn't want to risk him uninviting her. "Of course I can come over, honey." She thought for a moment, Jade Monkeys. Did she know what Monty had done with them? She tried to remember."Do you not remember which museum you gave them to?"

"Museum?"

"It was a few years ago, you said you were going to give them to a museum since the powers they were supposed to have weren't real. I think you decided on the British Museum."

Monty didn't respond.

"Umm, sweetie? You there?"

"O-Oh, right. Sorry, yes, I believe you are right. Thank you."

"You're welcome, dear. I'll see you tomorrow. I love you." She waited for a response for a moment, but soon realized that Monty had already hung up. She sighed and put her phone back down on the table, grabbing the closest plush toy before trying to go back to sleep.

* * *

"No Mystical Monkey Powers? I-I can't believe it..." Monkey Fist all but fell into a chair, completely in shock. He took out the Monkey's Paw again. "You!" His eyes narrowed and his voice was dark and accusative. "You're set on ruining my life. All I wanted was to right the universe! To take the powers I so justly deserved! But no, couldn't have that, now could we?"

Monkey Fist blinked a few times. He was having an elaborate, in-depth conversation (complete with sarcasm) with a mummified monkey's paw. Perhaps things had gone too far. "I still have one wish left. I could wish the Monkey Powers back into existence... but what if that doesn't work? I could wish that I had them, but I still don't know what else would happen. As much as I hate to admit it, I no longer think this _thing_ can improve my life... Although, that doesn't mean it's worthless. I can make use of it yet, but first I have to put things back to normal."

He held up the Monkey's Paw. "I wish my life was exactly the way it was right after I received the Monkey's Paw and before I made the wishes. Yet I, and I alone, still retain the memories of making these wishes." The Paw's third finger curled closed then there was a flash of light. Monkey Fist was standing in his living room, holding the Monkey's Paw, which now had all three of its fingers uncurled again.

At that moment, Amy walked into the room, as she had before, carrying a tray of cookies. "Who was at the door, honey? Was it that package you've been waiting for?"

"Indeed, it was," Monkey Fist answered. He watched as the monkey ninjas ran across the room, but this time grabbed one of them as it attempted to run away with a cookie. "Drop it, Chippy."

The monkey made a disappointed noise, but dropped the cookie into Monkey Fist's outstretched hand, at which point Monkey Fist tossed him to the ground.

"So," Amy said, as she walked over to him. "What is it?"

"It's called the Monkey's Paw," he answered, not resisting as she grabbed his arm again, in fact, he moved ever so slightly closer to her. He supposed he appreciated that she was an unethical, mad scientist. More importantly, that she was _his_ unethical, mad scientist. Although, as he thought about the day's events he realized something was still bothering him. "It grants wishes, three to th—two different people."

Amy looked a bit worried. "So, what are you going to wish for?"

He looked at her, smirking a bit. "Oh, I'm not going to wish for anything. I have a very different plan for this."

* * *

"So, I was thinking—" Ron started, but was interrupted by the sound of the Kimunicator.

"Hold that thought, Ron," Kim said. She took the Kimunicator out of her pocket and looked at it. "What's the sitch, Wade?"

"I've got a hit on the site from the British Museum. They say that they've been robbed. One of their artifacts just disappeared."

"What was it?" Kim asked. "And are there any suspects?"

"It's called the Monkey's Paw."

Ron suddenly looked worried. "No.. don't say it..."

"Monkey Fist!" Kim said.

"Aww... you said it."

Rufus poked his head out of Ron's pocket and made a sound that that sounded like "Aww."

"Come on, Ron. It's not that bad. But we need to get to Monkey Fist soon," Kim answered.

"I've got you covered, Kim," Wade answered. "Your ride should be there in the next ten minutes."

"You rock, as usual, Wade."

Wade smiled. "I try."

"I know you're in here somewhere, Monkey Fist!" Kim said, as she and Ron rappelled into Monkey Fist's house through one of the windows. They landed in a darkened hallway, which was completely empty.

"Oh, look, he's not here, guess we'll have to leave," Ron said, laughing nervously. "I'm sure that he has it with him, so no point in sticking around." With that, Ron began to move away from Kim, to look for a way out.

Kim sighed. "Come on, Ron." She began to pull him down the corridor as she took out her Kimunicator and contacted Wade. "Wade, we're inside Monkey Fist's castle. Now what exactly are we looking for? I know it's a Monkey Paw, but what is it made out of? Stone or metal or what?"

Wade turned back to his computer for a moment before looking back at Kim. "Monkey, apparently."

Kim gave him a look. "What are yo—?"

"It's an _actual_ monkey's paw. Well, at least, it used to be, it's a mummified monkey's paw, to be precise."

"Mummified monkey's paw?" Ron asked, immediately horrified. "Oh man! _So_ sick, _so_ wrong. I don't even want to think about it! Eww!"

"Okay, even I have to admit, it's kind of weird..." Kim sighed. "Mummified monkey's paw: only Monkey Fist. Still, we just have to get it and get out."

Ron grew more and more nervous as they walked down the hallway, after about ten minutes, he spoke again. "Okay Kim, we've been here long enough, and all we've seen are a bunch of _really_ creepy monkey paintings. Can we _please _just go?"

"Ron! We just got here! This is about the monkeys again, isn't it?"

"Yes! I never denied that it was!" Ron answered. "Now, can we go?"

"Ah, Kim Possible, and her monkey-phobic friend, in my own home no less. Adding home invasion to your college resumè?"

"You have something that belongs to the British Museum! We're here to take it back."

Monkey Fist gave her a disquieting smile. "Oh, how fascinating. I suppose you're talking about _this_." He held up the Monkey's Paw that was now on a chain around his neck. "Unfortunately, I have no intention of simply handing it to you. Besides, it's not as if the British Museum didn't steal it from someone else. Now, I assume you're not just going to leave, meaning I'll have to get rid of you. Monkey Ninjas, attack!"

The Monkey Ninjas rushed forward and began to attack Kim. She quickly leapt out of their way and over to Monkey Fist, throwing a kick at him. He blocked it, and looked over at the monkeys. "You know, I trained you so I don't _have _to do this sort of thing myself!"

The monkeys began to surround Ron. "KP! Monkeys! They're near me!" Ron tried to dodge them as they jumped on him, waving his arms around widely in an attempt to get them off of him. "Help!"

Kim sighed. "In a minute, Ron!" She dodged a knife-hand strike and swept Monkey Fist's legs out from under him, causing him to fall. She quickly grabbed the Monkey's Paw from around his neck and tossed it to Ron. "Ron! Head's up!"

"Got it, KP!" Ron managed to fling the monkey on his arm across the room and catch the monkey's paw. "Ah! I'm touching the dead monkey hand! I'm touching the dead monkey hand! I'm touching the dead monkey hand!" He tossed it from hand to hand in disgust.

Monkey Fist jumped over Kim's head to where Ron was standing. "I'll be glad to change that for you."

"Ah! KP!" Ron threw the paw back over Monkey Fist's head to Kim again.

She caught it and put it around her own neck.

Monkey Fist turned back to her, annoyed. "No more games! Monkey Ninjas, attack Kim Possible! Get that Monkey's Paw!"

The Monkey Ninjas began to run back across the room toward her and Kim began to look around for a way to stop them. She smirked when she noticed a large tapestry on the wall. She aimed her grappling hook at the top of the tapestry and shot it, grabbing onto the top, then pressing the button to pull it in. The tapestry ripped off the wall, falling on top of Monkey Fist and the Ninjas, barely missing Ron.

"Come on, Ron. Let's get out of here!" Kim ran past him back to the window, aiming her grappling hook at it.

"Coming, KP." Ron grabbed onto her and they rode up the grappling hook to the window, just as Monkey Fist managed to pull the tapestry off of himself.

"Get back here!" Monkey Fist ran over to the window, about to jump up to it. Kim looked around and noticed that there were curtains hanging from the windows. She pulled the curtains down, throwing the rod at Monkey Fist, knocking him back down the to ground, before she and Ron lowered themselves out of the window on the grappling hook.

"Aww, sweetie, are you alright?" Amy asked, as she walked into the room and rushed over to him.

"Yes, I'm fine, Amy." He rubbed his head a bit as he got up. "In fact, with the exception of Kim Possible feeling the need to turn my home furnishings into weapons, I don't think things could have gone better. Do you think they bought it?"

Amy smiled. "You seemed pretty angry. Besides, I think the last thing Kim Possible would suspect is that you tricked her into stealing something from you."

"You're probably right. Now, all I have to do is make sure that genius friend of her can find out about the wishes, and then it's only a matter of time until one of them, and I'm banking it will be Ron Stoppable, gives into the temptation to test the Monkey's Paw, and then their lives will be ruined!" With that he began to laugh.

* * *

"Wade, I've got the Monkey's Paw. Tell the museum that we'll be there in less than a few hours," Kim said to him. She and Ron had just left Monkey Fist's castle and gotten into the car that had been waiting for them.

"Yeah, umm, small update on the mission, actually," Wade answered, looking a bit nervous. "I contacted the museum, and they said that they didn't put a request on your site _and_ that they never had an artifact anything like that."

"Okay, weird," Kim answered. "Would they take it anyway?"

"That's also a no. At least for now," Wade replied. "They want proof that it's actually valuable before they accept it, so I've started doing some research. I haven't found anything yet, but as soon as I do, you'll be the first to know."

"See," Ron said. "I told you that thing was bad news. Let's just get rid of it now."

"No! It still might be worth something. Besides, there's no point in throwing it away until we know what it is."

"I _know_ what it is. Sick and wrong, that's what! We've been over this before!"

"Quiet, Ron! We're not getting rid of it just because it scares you. It could be a priceless artifact," Kim said, turning back to Wade. "So, is there anything else we need to know?"

"Yeah," Wade said. "While you were busy with Monkey Fist, I got another hit on the site. Drakken this time. And he's conveniently located. He's got a tower lair, it's only a forty-five minute drive from where you are now. Just thought you'd like to go check it out, seeing as you were in the area. I already told your driver to take you there."

"I feel like telling you how much you rock is redundant at this point," Kim answered. "Thanks a lot."

"So, a creepy torture tower lair. What exactly will this help us achieve?" Shego asked, as she put down a cardboard box. The lair was full of boxes with a few rays and other large pieces of equipment that were too large for boxes. The new lair seemed to be a medieval, stone tower.

"From this ancient fortress, we will finally be able to take over the world!" Drakken said. "I will—ah! Oww... these boxes are heavy..." Drakken rubbed his back a bit, as he had clearly hurt it trying to lift one of the boxes Shego had brought in. He looked over at her with a glare. "It wouldn't kill you to help me unpack, you know."

Shego opened the box she had been carrying and pulled out a lawn chair and sunlamp, which she set up. She then pulled out a pair of sunglasses and magazine from the box. She removed her suit, revealing that she was wearing a bathing suit underneath. Shego sat down in the chair, turned on the lamp and opened the magazine. "There, I'm unpacked. Your turn." She gestured to the many boxes littering the lair.

Drakken sighed and opened the box that he was having trouble lifting, grumbling.

At that moment there was a loud crash from the upper window and Kim came flying into the room. She landed in front of Drakken. "Stop right there, Drakken!"

"Stop? Stop what? Is it illegal to unpack boxes now?" Drakken asked indignantly.

Ron had obviously tried to follow Kim, but had gotten caught on one of the iron torch holders on the wall. He struggled to free himself, and did so, despite losing his pants in the process and falling to the ground next to Kim. He looked up at the torch with his pants hanging on it. "Aww... man... oh well, at least I got through that last mission without losing them." He jumped up and grabbed them, quickly putting them back on before attracting too much attention.

"Really," Drakken continued, not phased by Ron's pants-losing antics. "How did you even know we were here? I haven't done anything yet!"

"We just stole a creepy monkey thing from Monkey Fist," Ron answered. "He's less than an hour away from here. Actually, KP we're already halfway to Scotland, maybe we should check in on Duff Killigan before we go back home."

Shego, who had gotten up and put her suit back on gave an annoyed sigh. "See! I _told_ you putting a lair _between_ two of her other arch-foes was a bad idea, but no, you _had_ to have your stupid 'British Torture Tower' lair!"

"Arg! Not now, Shego! Just get them out of here!" Drakken said, pointing at Kim and Ron.

"Gladly." Shego smirked and lunged toward Kim. She and Kim began to fight, although a few moments in the Kimunicator began to beep.

Kim jumped away from Shego and took it out. "Go, Wade."

Shego leapt over to Kim, grabbing the Kimunicator from her hands and looking at it. "She'll call you back, nerd boy." Shego tossed the Kimunicator over her shoulder where it landed on the floor.

"Kim! You alright?" Wade asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Kim answered.

"Not for long!" Shego replied, as they continued to fight.

"I can still hear you, Wade. Go ahead."

"I was just going to say that I finally got some information on the Monkey's Paw. According to the ancient legends it grants wishes. Normally I would say that was impossible, but given what we've seen from Monkey Fist, I can't say that for sure. Anyway, wishes or no, it's definitely quite old, I'm sure the museum will take it now."

"Museum?" Drakken asked. "I don't think so. If that thing grants wishes I want it myself! Shego, get that monkey paw!"

Shego stopped for a moment. "Do you _realize _how ridiculous that sounds?" she asked him. "But fine, I will get the stupid monkey claw."

Shego and Kim continued to fight. Eventually Shego reached forward and grabbed the Monkey's Paw from around Kim's neck, just as Kim kicked Shego across the room. Shego held up the paw as soon as she got back on her feet. "Got it!"

"Good work, Shego!"

"Now, we're getting out of here! Come on, Dr. D!" Shego ran by him, grabbing him and throwing him over her shoulder, then headed up the stairs.

"Ron! Let's go!" Kim began to run after them.

"Right behind you, KP!"

As they got up to the top of the tower, Drakken and Shego were already in the hovercraft and were beginning to fly away. Drakken leaned over the side of the hovercraft, holding up the Monkey's Paw. "You think you're all that, Kim Possible, but now... you won't be, unless I wish it... which I won't! ...Yes..." He looked at Shego. "Let's just get out of here." And with that, Drakken and Shego disappeared into the distance with the Monkey's Paw.

**The End**

**A/N**: Well, that's it. This story was great in that it made me realize how vital Cuddle Buddies really are to this entire world. They're like the single most important thing ever. Without them, we have nothing. In fact, I think I'm kind of obsessed with them now. Look out for a story about Cuddle Buddies in the relatively near future (I'm not even kidding).


End file.
